How Does Your Voice Sound?

I got so many compliments on my voice at the horse fair: how soothing and relaxing it was. So, as with any compliment, I think about how I can do it more. In the Pavillion at the Iowa Horse Fair, Don Pecos was a little unnerved about hearing my voice from me and booming overhead on the sound system. In fact, he tried to climb on top of me to stop the dual action voice. Hence the soothing relaxing voice which captivated the audience and bought offers to read bed time stories to children.

In working with horses and children, I use my voice to sound like the feeling I wish to convey: encouraging, soothing, complimentary. When I say the word 'good', I think of warm chocolate chip cookies or you've just won the lottery. Try it: say good and think of the best thing you can think of while you say it. How did that sound? Now say it like an army sergeant drilling troops. Which 'good' will a horse/child respond to if that individual needs encouragement?

Dealing with horses takes a good measure of empathy and understanding. If I had got annoyed at Don Pecos for trying to hide from booming voice #2 and used drill sergeant voice because he was frightened, he would have become more and more fractious. A person who shouts "Whoa!" in a shrill, high pitched voice is rarely going to have the desired effect of calming the horse and getting him to stand. What that voice sounds like is: I'm terrified, you're terrified, stand here because we're both going to get eaten by the predator neither of us can see. So, consider in horse language that "WHOA!" sounds an awful lot like "RUN!"

Telling the same frightened 1000lb animal: your [sic] FINE, is like telling a crying child he's fine. The horse/child does not feel FINE, they have a problem. It sounds like you don't care about the fear/pain. Your FINE is a quick, staccato dismissal; it lacks empathy entirely. Saying : you're-all-right [note the contraction, hyphenation and lack of capital letters] in a caring, soothing way sets you up to help disperse the fear/pain. It says: I know you are having a difficult time, but I will help you and everything will turn out just fine. See, I said fine.

Don't believe me? Ask your husband how you look. He says: fine. You get mad/hurt. Fine means many things: superior, elegant, tiny, healthy, sharp, keen, highly skilled, etc. How did he say it? Distracted, dismissive? You ask you wife what is wrong. She says: Nothing. You say: Ok. She says: Fine. If you are shaking your head right now and half smiling you know: Nothing is not wrong and fine is not bright and clear.

Listen to the sound of your voice and let your words sound like what you want them to mean.

Kind Regards,

Michelle Blackler

Serendipity

www.hossbiz.com

Serendipity is an Accidental Sagacity Corporation company.