Child, Dog And Pony Problems

I made the decision not to have children when I was eight years old.  Looking back, that was a rather sagacious choice.  How could I be a good mother when I was such a problem child?  I just didn't understand the whole Kid Role.

You can dress me in frills, buy me a tea set, but I'd rather be out on the Ford tractor with Grandpa.

"We are going on a long trip in the car and you have to go potty now."  But I don't have to go potty now.  "But you will later, so you have to go now."  But I don't have to go potty now.


"Where is your brother?"  He is in [insert a place we were forbidden to go].  "I thought I told you not to play in [insert a place we were forbidden to go]?"  But I'm not playing in [insert a place we were forbidden to go].  "Go get your brother out of [insert a place we were forbidden to go] right now.  But I thought I wasn't supposed to go to [insert a place we were forbidden to go]?


How do I know I am really me?  "What are you talking about?"  How do I know I am really me and not someone else?  "Because you are you."  How do you know I am really me and not someone else?  "Go to sleep."

My poor parents.  It wasn't until I got a dog that I realized what they were up against with me.  My problem poodle, Lucy Fur [who is a Beagle, but that is another blog], does not want to potty in 'our' yard.  She prefers to do her business in the neighbor's yard, which is all very well and good when the neighbors have dogs who have the same bathroom habits as Lucy.  However, when the neighbors don't have dog[s], don't like dogs and are submitted to Lucy barking at them after she has completed her toilette in their hostas, this makes for a rather strained set of relations.

Yes, Ma'am.  It is quite dead.

The parallel: Lucy goes potty when she has to go potty, not when I tell her to go potty.  Going potty where she is forbidden to go potty will be the last place I will demand that she goes potty.  Lucy does not fit neatly under the list of ideal dog characteristics: loyal, faithful, obedient.  While she has certain measures of these qualities, the problem arises that she defines them differently, just as I did as a child and [ahem] still do.

To treat Lucy like a dog is the source of the problem.  She is an individual who also happens to be a dog.  My horse, Kitten [that was another blog, but there may be a pattern emerging] also refuses to be treated like a horse, she has higher expectations.  I see this in ponies all the time.  They are the original hedge fund investors: taking long and short positions on the market price of domestication.  In almost every case, it is those individuals with the extra large personalities that will not be contained within the title "dog", "pony", "child" who provide us with not only the most trying, but also the most hilarious, most poignant, most precious anecdotes.

But they are so cute when they're asleep.

Today's accidental sagacity is look at your problem dog/pony/child as an individual before you treat them as their title.  They might still potty in the neighbor's yard or tear up the horse trailer if you leave them [tied to it], or be incapable of holding down a real job with benefits, but it will perchance be easier to understand and therefore love them in spite of it.

Kind Regards,
Michelle Blackler
Serendipity
www.hossbiz.com
Serendipity is an Accidental Sagacity Corporation company.